If there are relational wounds, heal them before they get worse and fester. My mother-in-law playfully says that every year is the seven year itch, meaning that you and your partner need to be working on things continuously in order to keep your relationship strong. Make it a priority to work on your relationship, every. So, examine yourself and your role in the relationship honestly.Īre you pulling your weight? Expecting too much? Not setting boundaries? Are you who and how you want to be? What do you need that you feel you’re missing? What can you do to be the best you and best partner you can be? Two Life can be challenging enough as a single person - then you throw another person in the mix, and it’s even more difficult to navigate in harmony. To give your relationship its best chance at survival, both parts of the whole need to be working towards wellness. A relationship is the interplay of two individuals. What can you do to protect your marriage from the seven year itch and divorce? Here are 7 tips for not only avoiding the seven year itch, but for coming out the other side with an even stronger marriage than before. Our friends have marriages with similar ages, making this topic even more relevant, as we have already seen some friends’ marriages suffer, (some) survive from, and unfortunately (some) succumb to all sorts of challenges. The seven year itch was on my mind as my husband and my seventh wedding anniversary was approaching - dun dun dun! While by seven years there may be positive relationship growth (many relationships are through the tough childbearing and newborn years, and things have settled down), there is a higher likelihood that, unfortunately, there may be a cumulation of relational damage (established unproductive or unhealthy patterns, disinterest, decreased romance, and even apathy). If you need help managing conflict successfully with your partner, read this! More likely, there have been foundational cracks, relationship fault lines, that have been growing bigger through the years without attempts to repair them, and eventually they are too big to do anything about. Usually, great things don’t go south without warning. ![]() It’s as if you could be walking along, living your happy life with your beautiful relationship when suddenly, seven years in, things go south. I don’t know about you, but the idea that many marriages only last seven years is daunting. Oomph! Seven years? Didn’t we all promise each other “til death do us part”? I mean, do words mean nothing anymore? (No, no, they don’t, unless actions back them up…but that’s another post for another day). The term became well-known from the 1952 play of the same name by George Axelrod, and then by the 1955 Marilyn Monroe movie, where the main character was tempted by infidelity at the seventh year of marriage. If you haven’t heard of it before, the unhappy idea of the seven year itch is simple: after approximately seven years of marriage, a couples’ satisfaction with their relationship declines, in many cases resulting in a split. ![]() Each of these relationships, warts and all, has survived for decades, long beyond the dreaded “seven year itch”. My parents just celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary my in-laws, their 40th one set of my grandparents celebrated 60 years before my grandma’s passing and my other set of my grandparents are well on their way to their 65th.Īll of these relationships are quite different from the next, but what they do share is their longevity. I come from a long line of successful marriages, so undoubtedly there are things I - and you - can learn to help ensure my - and your - marriage is equally as strong and lasts equally as long. When it comes to relationships, there is much to be gleaned from examining successful relationships. One of the ways we learn is by imitation. Look around! Besides this helpful article on how to avoid the seven year itch and ensure you have a happy and strong marriage, I’m sure there’s something for you! Hi there! I’m Christina, a mom of two littles, a licensed mental health therapist, and a soon-to-be children’s book author! Thanks for checking out my site.
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